How to deal with being left out

The experience of recognizing when we have been left out is not a pleasant one. Acknowledging that we are being left out of something or excluded makes us feel unwanted and alone, and it’s a difficult sensation to grapple with.

Unfortunately, many of us can relate to the feeling. It seems to affect a lot more of us than we may be aware of, and it can be challenging to process the emotions that accompany this sensation.

Being excluded is something I have a little too much familiarity with. While I’ve improved in terms of how I handle the feeling, I don’t think there is a guaranteed way to overcome feelings of being inferior. It hurts, and there’s no sense in sugar-coating it.

Blame is unfortunately an inevitable component of being excluded, and often times, we tend to direct the blame towards ourselves. We convince ourselves that we are at fault for being left out, that we must have done or said something to warrant us being forgotten. Perhaps this blame is acceptable depending on the situation, but when we understand that we haven’t done anything to blame ourselves for in the exclusion equation, it sucks that much more as it becomes clear we are being left out for no apparent reason.

It’s easy to say to move on and forget when we encounter exclusion, but it simply isn’t that easy. What is pivotal in terms of dealing with being left out, though, is acceptance, as much as it sucks, and further the act of reminding ourselves that we likely haven’t done anything to justify us being isolated from things we would like to be included in. Keeping our heads up and our spirits higher is the most beneficial practice we can engage in if we are being left out, and in time, our worth will become more apparent to others and ourselves.

Image from https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1486002113024-43b2ce358eb0?ixlib=rb-1.2.1&ixid=eyJhcHBfaWQiOjEyMDd9&auto=format&fit=crop&w=772&q=80

 


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