A few days ago, I went to a funeral visitation. The individual who passed was a relative of a friend of mine, and while I didn’t have the privilege of knowing this person while they were alive, I wanted to attend to support my friend in this time of need.
I’ve been to a number of visitations and funerals over the years, and you never really know what to expect going into them. Sometimes they’re incredibly heavy, and other times, they’re a bit lighter, depending on the individual who passed, the conditions surrounding their passing, etc. In addition to not being able to anticipate the atmosphere prior to attending, you also aren’t able to gauge how hard the closest friends and family of the deceased have been hit by grief.
At this most recent visitation I attended, there were people who were smiling and fondly remembering the deceased, and there were also people who were extremely emotionally distraught. Seeing the various moods and emotions of the people present prompted me to consider, and not for the first time, how grief is not linear, nor is the grieving process.
Grief can hit us immediately, or it can settle in slowly, over a span of days. It might initially present itself as sadness, although it could begin as anger. Or, maybe the other way around. It might begin as a sensation of hopelessness or despair and eventually morph into a feeling of emptiness. It could hit us harder than any force and make its force known for months or years after. It could also come and go, without predictability or reason, its ebb and flow stinging and smarting each and every time it pays us a visit.
Grief is a fickle, confusing thing to process, and because of its intricacies, it should never be endured alone.
You are not alone.
ontheedgeofeverything 