If you consider yourself a people pleaser, welcome. You’ll find you’re among friends here seeing as I myself am a bit of a people pleaser, although I like to think I’ve improved a little bit over the past few years.
For anyone unfamiliar with the term, a people pleaser is exactly what the name suggests – you live to please others, and you will arguably do just about anything to make others happy and receive their approval or gratification or whatever sort of recognition it is that you’re seeking.
Being a people pleaser is fine to a point. I think it’s reasonable to draw the line when people pleasing begins to occur at our own expense, meaning we are doing things to make others happy that have the opposite effect on ourselves.
Speaking from experience, I think the biggest struggle people pleasers have with overcoming this narrative is the terror of letting others down. I suppose this may be linked with anxiety, which I also have, and I can’t speak for everyone. But, I do think the fear of failing others is the root cause of people pleasing, and it is unfortunate to consider the notion that what we are doing to please others more than likely is not being reciprocated by these very same people for our own benefit.
As hard as is it, we must learn to say no to things. Tackling the alleviation of people pleasing is no quick feat, but with small wins here and there, the overall effect blossoms and soon becomes a palpable benefit you realize you were overlooking for so long. It’s a bit freeing in a sense.
Stop living to please others. Please yourself just as much as you do for anyone else, and don’t let the guilt win the next time you tell someone no.
ontheedgeofeverything 