As I’ve mentioned in a few different posts now, I am helping some folks out by tutoring them in English. Most of the interest I’ve gotten is from students, but I recently met with and have had a few sessions with an individual who is not a student; rather, they’re an adult looking to improve on their grammatical and spelling skills for their job position.
When I first met with this person, I was surprised to hear them tell me they debated reaching out to inquire about my tutoring services for several weeks. When I asked them why they waited so long, their response made sense, although it was a little disheartening to hear, to be honest. This person explained to me that they were hesitant to reach out because they were feeling embarrassed about seeking out assistance in English considering their age.
I reassured this individual and told them there is absolutely no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed, but if roles were reversed, I would arguably be feeling similar to them. I applauded them for taking the initiative to improve on some skills they’ve been disregarding for a while now, and also informed them I figure it’s better late than never.
So many of us are reluctant to ask for help, despite there being zero shame in asking for a hand. I think our hesitancy to admit we could use some assistance stems from a subconscious ideology that in asking for help we are admitting we are weak, but, simply put, this mindset is pure bull shit. Why should we struggle and become frustrated with ourselves when asking someone for a few minutes to lend a hand is an option?
There is work to be done in the context of feeling ashamed for requesting help. We’re human, and none of us are perfect.