I think a lot of millennials could arguably relate to the idea of their parents giving them the impression that providing is in itself parenting. And, to an extent, it is; children can’t exactly fend or provide for themselves, therefore, their parents or other guardians strive to ensure their needs are satiated in a variety of contexts, like food, clothing, shelter, and other costs of life.
I think a lot of millennials could also arguably relate to the idea of their parents leading them to believe that providing encompasses parenting, and not much else is required in the parent equation. This is not the case, however, as many millennials with baby boomer parents can relate to.
It grinds my gears when I hear parents, when talking about children they no longer have a healthy relationship with, complain that they can’t understand how their adult child can be so ungrateful for all that the parents did for them while they were growing up, in the context of providing. If providing was the only form of parenting conducted, and there was an absence of emotional support, encouragement and genuine love, that isn’t parenting in my opinion. That’s simply providing.
If providing was the sole method of parenting executed while a child was growing up, sorry, parents, but that child doesn’t owe you shit. They did not decide to bring themselves into the world – their parents did. The parents were aware of the fact that a child requires providing, among many other things. If providing is where the parenting ended, there is a reason the child does not wish to have a relationship with their parents once they’ve reached adulthood.
I realize it’s more than easy for me to say this, seeing as I am not a parent myself. These are observations I’ve made over the years from talking to a variety of millennials, but if what I am describing is relatable to you as a parent, perhaps you need to look in the mirror if you’re searching for somewhere to lay the blame.
Photo by Ricardo Moura on Unsplash
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