Anyone who has the privilege of knowing me on a personal level is well aware that I swear, and furthermore, that I swear a lot.
I just fucking love swearing, ya know? I find it quite cathartic.
Believe it or not, I never used to swear when I was younger, and thanks to a heavy Catholic influence within my own religion and my schooling, I, at one point, was absolutely certain that uttering the word hell would send me straight there, let alone something a little meatier and with a little more sustenance to it, like fuck.
I arguably use fuck and shit the most when it comes to profanity, but that isn’t to say I don’t get creative occasionally when making use of swear words. I thought I would share some of my own creations with all of you, and, allow me to note that not all of these contain profanity.
Swearing and insults don’t necessarily need to be paired in unison for the utmost effect, but I think it just sounds better. It’s kind of like the ideology that hamburgers don’t necessarily require a bun to encompass them within, but they taste better with the bread.
Without further delay, here are some insult alternatives to try out next time you’re wanting to insult someone.
- Twat waffle
- Shit for brains
- Dick head
- Turnip
- Meatball
- Sewer rat
- Swine
- Uncultured swine
- Peasant
- Fuckhead
- Asshat
- Dingleberries
- Dipshit
- Cock gobbler
- Ingrown toenail
These are just a few ideas off the top of my head, but you really can have a lot of fun with these.
Insults are subjective in essence, so there isn’t really a right or wrong way to go about using them. Try to think of something unpleasant, pair it with some type of swear word, and you’re well on your way to absolutely dumbfounding someone with your new and innovative approach to conflict.
ontheedgeofeverything 
