My grandmother taught me at a very young age to always abstain from using the word hate. She told me it is a harsh and cruel word that should not be used to describe one’s feelings toward anything, and while I do try my best to abide by her teachings, there are absolutely some things in this world I hate, one of them being narcissism and narcissists.
If you haven’t experienced narcissism, consider yourself fortunate. If you have, you can attest to how infuriating, insulting, and exhausting it is, and, furthermore, you can arguably agree that there isn’t a designated way to best handle these types of people.
I am not an expert by any means, but I’ve picked up a couple of phrases that I’ve memorized over the years from a combination of social media posts, articles and other sources that I would like to share with all of you.
I find the first to be more effective than the second. Say you’re chatting with a narcissist about a personal issue, and they’re doing everything in their power to make you feel smaller than a speck of shit on the bottom of their shoe. As enticing as it is to respond with an insult, this often results in an increase in nastiness from the narcissist in question. Rather, look them in the eye and ask, “Are you trying to be helpful? Or hurtful?” This response can stop a narcissist in their tracks and make them reconsider how they’re going to proceed with the conversation.
The second option is a little more brash, and you may not feel entirely comfortable trying it out, which I understand. But, if you’re fiery like me, it consists of saying to a narcissist, preferably in front of a crowd of other people, “I’m surprised you felt comfortable saying that out loud.” It’s a subtle way of calling them out for their toxic bullshit, but, you can’t guarantee how they’re going to react – they could walk away, or intensify things. That’s the gamble.
Narcissists are awful, but they’re not indestructible. At the end of the day, they’re measly human beings, much like you and I.
Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash
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