No, you really can’t control everything

Control is a facet of life that, I believe, a lot of us develop a borderline toxic mentality towards. There are a lot of things in life we can control, for example, what we put into our bodies, the sort of work we do, who we form relationships with, what we purchase, etc. In fact, I think it would be safe to say that we are able to control most things in life, and it is because of this realization that when we do encounter something we are unable to control, we experience a lot of frustration, anxiety and confusion.

From my own experiences, control is something that often coincides with anxiety and perfectionism. Possessing the ability to have control over something usually means we can control the outcome of a particular situation, which brings us a sense of comfort. When our ability to control the outcome of a scenario is halted, our automatic instinct is to feel fear, anxiety and worry, as a few examples.

It has taken me a long time to come to the understanding that there are, without any doubt, elements of life we have absolutely no control over. As desperately as we may yearn to be able to sway events in our favour and alter the outcome of certain happenings, we simply cannot. The sooner we are able to cohesively acknowledge this fact, the sooner we are able to relinquish our incessant need to control everything, and trust me when I say it is an oddly peaceful sensation of acceptance. Life is not meant to be perfect, and I honestly think that if we did have the ability to control absolutely everything in life, chaos would ensue. What we want for ourselves is not what everyone else wants, and that is something a lot of us struggle to process.

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