I would argue that the vast majority of us prefer not to deal with conflict if we don’t absolutely have to. And, really, my argument is logical in its preposition; humans don’t typically crave conflict, or confrontation, hence why so many of us get rather uncomfortable when faced with either.
Comfort, on the other hand, is something I would say we do enjoy, and don’t normally have an issue with. Comfort and conflict sort of play into one another in the sense that if we are conflicted, we often experience comfort when said conflict is resolved.
Being a bit awkward when it comes to handling conflict is relatively normal, and understandable, too, within reason. But, I can’t help but wonder if people realize that they’re actually being more hurtful than they are helpful when it comes to providing comfort to someone who has just received some unfortunate news.
Say, for example, you have a friend who calls you up one day in a panic. They inform you that they have recently received some poor news regarding their health, and that they now must undergo an invasive surgery to correct the issue. You might be inclined to respond to them by saying something along the lines of well, at least surgery is an option or it could always be worse, because you, in your own mind, interpret these comments to be positive and helpful. What you might not be aware of, however, is that when you respond to your friend’s concerns with these words, you could be invalidating their own feelings and fears. For example, it is possible that your friend needs nothing other than a supportive, hearing ear as opposed to hearing forced positive acclamations, and in your attempt to console them, you’ve only added to their conflict.
Try to remember the phrase am I being helpful or hurtful – I imagine your life will be a little bit easier in terms of conflict.
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
ontheedgeofeverything 