I figure it would be fair to wager that just about each and every one of us has been at the receiving end of the exclusion equation at some point or another in life. If you haven’t, consider yourself lucky; if you have, you would likely agree with me in addressing exclusion as a rather shitty experience.
Being left out is not something we typically aspire to achieve. It hurts our feelings and makes us feel as though we perhaps aren’t worthy of being included in whatever it is we have been left out of.
An even further troubling realization? There really is not a whole lot we can do to either address and/or correct exclusion, so we are left sitting in our own unpleasant feelings.
Exclusion can occur in a variety of contexts. Perhaps you’re being left out of events with family, or maybe friends; it is possible you’re being isolated from work-related events with fellow colleagues, or maybe it’s a combination of all three. Regardless of the source of exclusion, its effects are inevitably undesirable, but we are able to control how we interpret being left out.
It is absolutely natural to dislike being excluded, but depending on the source of the isolation, there is a strong chance you can’t change the situation. You can try and see the circumstances from both sides, but ultimately, you can’t force nor expect people to include you. That doesn’t make the experience any less painful, but at this point, it’s up to you how you’re going to handle being shunted.
You can easily dwell on the matter and feel angry, frustrated and annoyed, or, you can try your best to hold your head high and focus your efforts toward what brings you happiness. It isn’t easy, but in time, it gets a little less painful.
Photo by kilarov zaneit on Unsplash
ontheedgeofeverything 