I would wager that trauma, sadly, is something that is relevant to more of us than not. It’s a horrible thing to endure, and because it can occur in so many different ways and forms, its lasting effects can vary drastically as well, both in severity and duration.
I don’t intend for this post to be a trauma dump, but I do have to provide some context in my own experience. One significant trauma I endured was many years ago; I was in a car wreck with my grandparents that should have killed my Oma, to put it bluntly; her injuries were extensive and severe, and my opa was also seriously injured. I wasn’t injured aside from a bruised spleen from the seatbelt, and while I was blissfully unaware of it at that moment, my injuries would present themselves later in an alternate way.
The wreck unleashed mental hell, and to this day, I still have a hell of a time riding in a vehicle on a busy highway when someone else is driving. I’ve undergone different forms of therapy (individual, group, CBT, etc.) which have helped to an extent, but I still have a lot of anxiety with vehicles.
I’ve forced myself countless times to expose myself to my fear and to ride in a vehicle hoping it would help me overcome the anxiety, but it hasn’t. I don’t think it will, to be honest, and I don’t necessarily think this should be perceived as giving up; rather, acceptance. I suppose one could say I’ve made my peace with it, although that isn’t the best way of phrasing it, and as much as it bothers me to acknowledge I may have a lifetime of PTSD trauma in this regard, I’m not running from it. I see it, sometimes in my peripheral vision and sometimes clear as day, and I’ll fight it from a distance if need be.
Photo by Susan Wilkinson on Unsplash
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