Anyone who has been at the receiving end of a one-sided friendship can arguably attest to how positively miserable the experience is. When I say one-sided friendship, I’m referencing relationships between two friends which involves one friend putting far more effort into the relationship than the other. Of course, there will be points throughout life during which we may not be able to be entirely present in a friendship, and that is okay. True friends comprehend this reality, and make space for each other when it is needed. What is not okay, however, is when we continually choose to be absent in a friendship, and only make our presence known when we need something, like support or advice.
You can almost guarantee that if you have a ‘friend’ in your life that only seems to reach out when they’re inconvenienced, or they need something, that they are not your true friend. I like to call these sorts of friendships transactional ones; the friend in question only initiates contact when they’re expecting to receive something out of the interaction.
Additionally, you can assume someone is not a true friend to you if they constantly come to you with their problems, but never inquire about your own. Or, in the rare instance they do ask about you, you can immediately gather that they’re not actually interested, nor do they care – they’re asking simply for appearances’ sake, or to allow themselves to switch gears and again rely upon you because they dared to ask you one question.
True and healthy friendships require balance, and if one friend is continually putting more of an effort in than the other, the friendship likely will not be a sustainable one. You should never feel overlooked or made to feel inferior to someone you consider a friend, and if this is happening, they are not your friend.
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
ontheedgeofeverything 