I have composed a handful of blogs discussing elements of friendships, and over the course of my life, I feel as though I have come to a concrete understanding of what makes a good friendship, and consequently, what makes a poor friendship.
Healthy and beneficial friendships require commitment, dedication, effort, understanding, patience, give, and a genuine understanding of who the person involved in the friendship is. It takes work to establish and maintain a lifelong friendship, however, said friendship should not consist of one person being more committed to the relationship than the other.
When I consider the strongest and most rewarding friendships that I personally have, it is apparent that the bond that occurs between two people in a friendship is personable and contains effort. A majority of the friendships I have bid farewell to concluded due to a lack of effort from someone who I, at one time, believed to be an important person in my life.
Perhaps I sound cynical and pessimistic, but I honestly fail to see the point of a friendship that requires you to continually work for progress without achieving any gain. If you find yourself alone in the process of consistently trying to make a friendship prosper, move along. Yes, friendships require work, but not when said work is one-sided. I have wasted far too much time investing myself in friendships that were unbalanced in terms of effort. I don’t necessarily regret these investments, as they have really helped me to understand who truly cares, but it is incredibly frustrating to be at the giving end of a one-sided friendship.
If you find yourself constantly asking how a friend is, how they’re doing, how their job or program in school is going or how their family and/or relationships are going without receiving any of the same questions back, it’s time to finish off that chapter in your life. Don’t close the book; simply turn the page for a fresh, rewarding start.