Most of us are familiar with the ideology that because the past is, quite literally, in the past, it isn’t something we should affix a tremendous amount of our efforts or attention to. In a general sense, this mindset makes sense – what occurred in the past is done, and it cannot be changed no matter how hard we try; it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to therefore dwell on past events or the past itself.
I do agree that certain elements of the past should stay just there – in the past. I don’t necessarily think, however, that because the past is in hindsight it should be entirely overlooked or forgotten, because that isn’t terribly beneficial, either. The past serves as a fantastic opportunity to learn from, or use as a reference point for specific things, so I can’t outright say that I think what is in the past should remain there.
If we consider ourselves in the past versus present versus future equation, meaning literally who we are as people, it becomes even more apparent why the past, while gone, is relevant. Using myself and my own experiences as an example, if I were to try to entirely forget my past mental health and eating disorder struggles, I probably would not be where I am presently in terms of recovery and remission. My past, in this sense, is absolutely significant, and to try and forget this past version of myself, as unpleasant as the version is, would entirely eradicate any and all progress I’ve made with my health, body image, eating patterns and habits, and confidence.
If we have components of our past that aren’t so wonderful, it is understandable to want to forget them. But, mistakes pose as one of the best opportunities to learn, and without them, I really don’t know how our world today would look.
“Learning the art that is being aware of who you are can take many years. Learning how to settle into our own skin is something that for so many people is an ongoing practice. When we learn to accept who we are, it can help us to make a break with past lives. Many people think it is beneficial to escape their past, but this is not the best course of action for a number of essential reasons:
“It Can Cause Long-Term Anxiety
“Escaping or avoiding situations can, in fact, increase our anxiety over time because the fear of what might have happened can linger in our minds. If you experienced a traumatic incident early in life, you can live with that shadow hanging over you which may cause you to question certain aspects of what happened to you. If you were the victim of assault and you are now wondering how long is a life sentence because the person is incarcerated but could get out on good behaviour, when you have prolonged anxiety like this, it can have negative effects on your mental well-being. We have to remember that in these specific types of situations, we should never feel like we must live in fear, and, of course, it’s easier said than done, but learning how to deal with long-term anxieties can reduce that lingering stress.
“We Avoid Important Information
“When we escape difficult situations or unpleasant emotions, it robs us of the opportunities to understand ourselves better and learn from those things that challenge us. It prevents us from gaining insights that could lead to personal growth. The past offers invaluable lessons that can help us to develop the best version of ourselves. When we avoid or escape the past, we are depriving ourselves of the essential process that is personal development.
“You’re Missing Out on Building Resilience
“When we confront the past, whether it’s in the form of counselling or hypnosis sessions, it can ensure that we peel the metaphorical onion so we can understand how we reacted or make peace with what occurred so we can develop coping mechanisms for future challenges effectively. When we ignore or escape the past, it can result in poor decision-making, but it also contributes to a lack of understanding of certain factors that can shape our lives. There is a cause for every little thing in the world, and if we decide to hide, it feels better in the short term but causes damage in the long term.
“It’s painful to relive certain memories and experiences because we are replaying those stresses, but rather than exposing ourselves to how we used to be or all the things that happened to us, we need to learn from them and use those experiences that will be so critical for our personal development and well-being. When we try to escape the past, whatever the issue may have been, you are depriving yourself of the opportunities to be a far better version of you.”
ontheedgeofeverything 