Continuing our conversation regarding fear, allow me to fill you in on an experience I recently had that genuinely scared the absolute shit out of me.
During our last game, I went to tackle a player on the opposing team, and something went rather wrong. I’m still not entirely certain as to what specifically happened because it did play out so quickly. I think, perhaps, that my cleat got wedged in the field, and while my foot came to a complete stop, my knee continued following through with the tackle. I heard a very loud crack and felt a lot of pain, and in that instant, I thought I had broken my leg.
That might sound dramatic, but if you had heard the snap I did and felt the pain, you might be thinking the same thing.
I rolled over and immediately looked at my leg to see if it was broken. It looked okay, but the pain was intense, and after lying out on the field for a couple of minutes, our athletic trainer came to my aid and helped me stand up. Standing was okay, but when I went to take a step, my right knee absolutely crumpled beneath me, and it felt like my kneecap went sideways.
I wasn’t able to keep walking, but, thankfully, two of the men’s players came over to help me get off the field. Our athletic trainer looked me over and told me she thinks it is either my meniscus or my MCL, and told me to go to an emergency department, which I did. I have to get imaging done, and I’m positively terrified to learn the extent of this injury.
The fear I felt right after this injury occurred was probably the most intense I’ve felt in a long while, and it truly unsettled me. Fear is fickle, and it can come out of nowhere.
Photo by mali desha on Unsplash
ontheedgeofeverything 