If you follow my blog to any extent, it’s no secret that I have Lyme disease. I was diagnosed about a year ago, and while I’m certainly feeling better now than I did this time last year, life ain’t exactly peachy when you live with Lyme, or any chronic illness, for that matter.
I also have severe IBS, which is a different form of chronic illness. Both IBS and Lyme disease are considered to be autoimmune diseases, so I’ve got my fair share of shit, to put it mildly.
I try my absolute hardest to not allow my health problems to get me down, and for the most part, I have a pretty good attitude about it. I despise self-pity, and I believe this plays into my stance towards feeling like a bag of dicks most of the time. I might feel like hell, but I try not to show it or complain about it. We all have our own problems, and I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.
That being said, some days are rough, and I’m feeling pretty awful sitting here as I write this post. I think I’m dealing with a Lyme flare-up brought on by stress about the wedding, and while I’m doing what I can to try and alleviate feeling so shitty, sometimes it really is useless.
Waking up in the morning and feeling truly awful isn’t the best way to begin one’s day, and the reality of living with chronic illness is knowing that how awful you are feeling probably won’t improve over the course of the day. Nor will it be any better the next day or the next day after that. Living with chronic illness requires a loooooot of resilience, perseverance, strength and optimism, and sometimes it is easy to slip into the grip of depression and feelings of hopelessness.
Chronic illness sucks major ass, and while remaining strong is essential in managing the misery, sometimes, it really is okay to not be okay.