Forgive, but don’t forget

I would bet money that just about every adult on planet Earth has heard the expression ‘forgive and forget.’ Typically, this mantra is shared with us when we have been done wrong by someone for whatever reason – we are told to forgive them for whatever their transgressions may be, and forget about the transgression entirely.

Considering rage and the permittance of it to fester isn’t exactly a healthy way to go about living life, I do believe forgiving is simultaneously one of the hardest and most beneficial practices we can engage in. Forgiveness doesn’t have a structured timeline, and depending on what we are forgiving someone for, some of us might take longer than others to find closure. I don’t, however, think forgetting about something that was done to us in a poor fashion is a feasible thing to do, and I believe a lot of folks would agree with me on this one.

To forgive is one thing, and to forget is another. Personally, I almost feel as though entirely forgetting about something negative that was done to us at the hands of someone else is, in a way, sending a message that whatever occurred didn’t actually transpire, and I take issue with that. Forgiving someone for something they did requires a significant amount of maturity, responsibility and grace, but forgetting, in my opinion, is a direct insult to the person who was the victim in a given situation, and it further frees the perpetrator from any reliability or affiliation they have with whatever they did that was wrong.

I could be entirely wrong in my perception of the matter depending on who you ask, but I do think my take on it makes sense. I don’t think holding grudges against anyone is a beneficial practice, but I don’t think entirely forgetting about an unfortunate incident that directly affects us is, either.

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