Rather than bombarding you with a slew of different ways to handle someone who is narcissistic, I thought it might be more beneficial to break this topic up into two separate posts. I figure the topic of narcissism is heavy enough, let alone when a post resembles the closet in Narnia and just keeps going into the dark abyss.
I doubt there are narcissists in the world of Narnia, but I suppose you just never know. I always found Mr. Tumnus to be a weird fuck.
Anywho, let’s proceed with some more tips for dealing with a narcissist, with this information coming from choosingtherapy.com.
“9. ‘I Am not Going to Argue Anymore’
Very clear message that you will not continue to engage in an unproductive fight. Again, for this to work it’s important you stand your ground and walk away.
10. ‘I am Capable of Doing What I Want Regardless of What you Think’
This makes it clear that you are ok with your perspective and that it’s not changing and that you are also making it clear that their opinion in this situation won’t shape your behaviors.2
11. ‘I Understand’
This makes it clear that you are indeed understanding what they are saying. You are not stating that you agree, but that you understand. Narcissists have a deep need to feel understood and heard and seen, so stating you are understanding will help a narcissist feel less agitated.
12. ‘We Can Agree to Disagree’
Like a few other phrases, for this to work, it’s important you double down on this and don’t feed into the temptation to engage in an argument. You may feel like you want to prove or convince the narcissist of something, but that will not work. Simply agreeing to disagree gives the narcissist the knowledge that their opinions and perspective was heard.
13. ‘I See Where You Are Coming From’
This phrase helps the narcissist to also feel understood. It helps them to feel that their thought process makes sense, even if you don’t agree with their interpretation of it.
14. ‘I Want to Share how I Feel’
Using ‘I’ statements is always best, as it keeps blame off of others and makes you the owner of how you feel. Sharing how you feel can humanize the interaction, and though the narcissist may not care, it’s possible they will ease off if they feel you are interpreting yourself as a victim. They will likely then try to use tactics to portray themselves as a victim, in which case the anger will likely dissipate and de-escalation will be made easier.
15. ‘Your Perspective Is Interesting’
This statement makes it appear that their perspective is neither bad nor good, but interesting. It allows for the narcissist to sit in their feelings, trying to understand and makes them pause. The pause can be a good moment to use another phrase to further calm down the situation.
16. ‘Can We Aim to be Respectful in our Conversation?’
This phrase used as a question is more rhetorical, but when used literally, it can level the conversation so it is not so emotionally charged,” the web page explains.
Trying to determine how to best navigate a narcissist isn’t easy, so I hope this information can be of aid to someone.
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