Tips for dealing with a narcissist

While an unfortunate reality, I would wager that more of us than not have dealt with a narcissist, or narcissists, and on more than one occasion. Anyone who has familiarity or experience with a narcissist will arguably attest to the fact that they’re vile specimens, and despite how absolutely fucking awful they are, there are sadly more of them around than ever.

The ability to maintain separation between ourselves and someone who is narcissistic is probably the best option for ourselves, our mental health, and our sanity, but sometimes, this simply isn’t feasible. So, I thought I would share some tips for handling a narcissist when we must, and this information comes from

“1. ‘Your Anger Is Not My Responsibility’

This resets the playing field so that they cannot make you a source of their narcissist supply to soothe their emotions. To add, this statement is very grounding and draws a very clear boundary of what you will and will not be responsible for.

2. ‘I Can’t Control How You Feel About Me’

This sets the precedent that their emotions are their responsibility and that their reaction won’t change your behavior. This statement also reinforces that you only have control over yourself and others have control over themselves, and you will not be made to feel responsible for others’ emotions.

3. ‘I Hear What You’re Saying’

This allows the narcissist to feel heard, which might be all you want to say if you want to de-escalate and not further discuss the point of contention. This statement may be one of the fastest ways to de-escalate a narcissist because feeling heard is a common desire everyone has. While you may not agree with what the narcissist is saying, simply stating you hear what is being said can be enough in the moment.

4. ‘I’m Sorry You Feel That Way’

You can feel sorry for someone else without being sorry about your boundaries, which is important when arguing with a narcissist. This makes the narcissist responsible for their emotions while potentially helping them be heard so they don’t further escalate an issue.

5. ‘Everything Is Okay’

This helps to make it clear to the narcissist that this will pass and they are ok or going to be ok. Given that narcissists have no self-awareness, it’s likely they cannot reconcile high conflict or intense emotions. Saying things will be ok gives them the reassurance and/or validation they don’t know they need.

6. ‘We Both Have a Right to Our Own Opinions’

This makes it clear that they can have their opinion, and making sure it’s clear that you know their words are opinions, and not facts. To add, it’s important to make this statement so they know they are also being heard and to reset the playing field of the conversation.

Narcissists will want to feel superior and be in control of the conversation, but stating this makes it clear that you won’t allow that to happen but you can respect that they are going to have their own opinions as well.

7. ‘I Can Accept How You Feel’

Don’t fight a narcissist when you disagree with them because you won’t convince them or change their mind. Simply saying that you accept their opinion or how they feel without fighting back cuts off their supply.

8. ‘I Don’t Like How You’re Speaking to Me so I Will not Engage’

Saying this sets a boundary. They feed off of triggering you, so knowing that you won’t participate in a fight will cut off their supply. For this to work, it’s important that you don’t cave in when the narcissist inevitably persists in engaging you,” the web page states.

Check back tomorrow for more tips on how to positively mind-fuck a narcissist.

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