How to stop speaking out of anger

A couple of days ago, my mom and I got into it. She and I bicker every now and then, but full-on arguing is a bit of a rarity between her and me, so when it happens, it ain’t pretty.

I won’t disclose the topic that prompted the argument, but at one point I said something to my mom that I shouldn’t have, and I regretted it immediately. It was untrue, unnecessary, and it came from a place of anger.

My mom and I typically make amends shortly after we have an argument, and this instance was no exception. I apologized to my mom and explained to her that what I said was entirely fueled by a short temper and rage. She told me she realized that, forgave me, and reminded me that I’m only human, so it isn’t exactly a secret that my mom is a forgiving and understanding person.

God, I love my mom.

Afterwards, I was reflecting on the matter and, once again, became angry. Except, this time, the anger was entirely directed at me; I was frustrated with myself for saying what I did to my mom, and it prompted me to contemplate how to refrain from speaking from a place of anger when in an argument. I’m no expert on the matter, but I thought I would offer some insight in hopes of helping out anyone else struggling with this.

Easier said than done, but an effective way to avoid speaking from a place of rage in an argument is to keep your emotions in check. This may not seem like something feasible when you’re tempted to literally throttle the person you’re quarrelling with, but the message remains; allowing emotion to overtake us when we are upset commonly provokes us to speak from a place of madness and rage.

Another tactic to try and implement in an attempt to avoid speaking from a place of anger is to not speak at all. If you’re not confident that your retort to the person you’re having an issue with will be constructive, or helpful, it’s likely best not to say shit.

Something else that may help avoid this issue is to take some deep breaths before responding. You may appear to be having some sort of internal crisis or perhaps indigestion in doing so, but it’s better than saying something you will regret.

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