People pleasing: know when to quit

While I sadly cannot recall where exactly I read it, I often think about a quote I came across a while ago from someone commenting on the millennial generation as a whole. The message was implying that millennials, collectively, are a generation of people built on the foundation of pleasing others before themselves because of former generational influences they encountered while being raised.

I’m not about to sit here and point fingers at certain generations in an attempt to place blame for anything, so please don’t assume that is where this post is going. Each generation has another they tend to look to whenever they need a scapegoat to carry the burden of all of the problems they’re facing, and each generation has a plethora of both flaws and skills that can benefit another. I do, however, believe there is some truth to this quote I stated earlier addressing millennials, because I personally am someone who aims to please others before myself. I don’t think my people-pleasing tendencies are a direct byproduct of how I was raised, but my incessant need to make other people happy at the expense of myself is a hard lesson I’ve had to learn, and furthermore navigate, in my adult years.

People pleasing, in essence, is an altruistic concept. There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to provide happiness for others; issues have the potential to develop, however, when you become so infatuated with earning the approval of others you lose sight of yourself and your own wants, needs and desires.

An additional potential problem with excessive people-pleasing is that people may start to recognize your constant drive to please them, and there is a chance they will take advantage of this, and take you for granted. Human beings can be real pieces of shit, and sadly, this occurs more often than not if you’re a compulsive people pleaser.

When it comes to pleasing others, know your limits and protect your peace, regardless if you’re a millennial or not.

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