Every now and then I’ll stumble across a saying that seriously resonates with me. I’ll admit that the quote itself has to be rather astounding in terms of the message it delivers for it to remain with me for an extended period of time as my short-term memory is shit, but there are a few that I’ve collected and internalized over the years. Some I’ve come across via text and others via social media, and I am grateful for the ones I’ve retained.
I heard one such saying a little while ago in the context of romantic relationships, but, really, this can be applied to any and all sorts of relationships in life. It was written by a woman who described a method of communication she and her husband put into practice when either of them is needing to vent. Prior to the actual vent session, the listener asks the speaker if they are seeking advice, or simply a listening ear. She explained how prefacing a venting moment with this simple question has spared her and her husband plenty of fights in the long term, and I can understand why.
That’s some deep shit, my friends.
I’m sure most of us have experienced both perspectives in the situation with undesired outcomes. When you’re venting and you aren’t looking for advice, you’re likely to receive it regardless of your intentions. When you’re venting and you are, in fact, looking for advice, you’re unlikely to receive it regardless of your intentions.
You’re screwed either way, in essence.
Asking this one question is a simple yet effective way to strengthen communication and also prevent yourself from leaving the situation and feeling frustrated. Expressing yourself should, really, be a cathartic experience if you’re doing so in the form of venting – not an anger-provoking one.